A Christmas Merger

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today
at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides.

By combining forces, we're told the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukkah.

As part of the merger agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.

In exchange for this concession, it is believed that Santa's vast merchandising and distribution network will be opened up for all Chrismukkah participants.

Despite strong speculation, a spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might also be in the works at this time.

He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful."