Custom Leather Purses, Courtesy of my Cuenca Connections!

Having something made is always an adventure. You pay the money and just hope that everything turns out right. Fortunately, this time everything went smoothly!

A friend of mine in Cuenca is connected with a leather goods factory, and he's offered many times to let me make a purse with his team. I'd never taken him up on it, until now ...

These look even better in person!

My sister had a purse she wanted repaired or copied, if possible. It's the green one in the middle. Not only did Jaime fix it and make a great copy in the requested color (brown) he also gave me two color choices!

It's not just the outside that looks good, either - the insides are high-quality cloth and beautifully done. So now I am plotting, plotting, plotting to have every other bag I've ever loved copied over.

Talking to the Taxis

One of the fun things I get to do almost everyday is talk to my taxi drivers. I run with a taxi crew I call "the grandpas" and they probably know me better than anyone else now!

Riding with the grandpas happened by accident. Moving into the place on El Batan, we noticed there was a taxi syndicate stand just up the street. I didn't use them at first, but then I started to appreciate the convenience of having taxis waiting for me whenever I wanted one without having to call for a ride. And so we began spending a lot of time (and money) together.

The grandpas got their name because the group is anchored by two drivers who are (approximately) 100 years old each. Riding with one of them terrifies me because he can't really see over the wheel and big cars seem to scare him. He is also cranky about people trying to give him anything other than exact change - but he's there in the afternoons when I need a ride, and that's just how it goes.

The other truly ancient driver is adorable, especially this season. Apparently they decided that since they have foreigners as regular riders, they should learn some English. He has mastered "Good Afternoon" which he tells me every morning on my way to getting a ride for my 9 am class.

It's not that no one in the group speaks English - some of them worked in the States, and many are much younger. Out of the 30+ cars in the syndicate, I know 6 of the drivers well enough to have their life stories. Chatting in traffic, you can pick up a lot - Bruno, for example, says he's relieved to have left his delivery route in NYC because taking bread to the Italian bakeries meant getting involved with the mafia and you know, those Russians are crazy.

We chat about visa issues, the weather, vacations, my students, their kids, and anything else that comes up. Many women riding alone in Cuenca complain that their taxi drivers hit on them - not my regular guys! They're married (one with 6 kids!) and besides, at 3 - 4 rides a day sometimes, they already know all about me and my boyfriend.

It is sometimes a check that I have to watch what I share - the taxi guys have lots of time on slow days to share stories. Everybody knows when I'm on vacation, doing exams for the school, upset about something at work, etc, etc - even the drivers I don't talk with regularly. On the other hand, I know quite a bit about their habits and lives, too, so I suppose it evens out in the grand scheme of things.

The other thing that evens out is the price I pay for taxis. As a regular, I pay the minimal fare for everything - something I'm reminded of when I dare to ride with another set of drivers. Cuenca has more than 100 taxi syndicates, some of which have over 70 cars. They can set their own rates for fares from their home base spot to the rest of the city, but good luck finding out what those rates are without being a regular rider, and good luck getting the best rates with a random cab hailed off the street. That's just the way it goes, and I'm lucky to have a set of good cabbies I can trust since I live in one part of the city and work in another.

So do come for a visit - fares are down for 2012 to Ecuador, and then you, too, can talk with my taxis.

Ecuador's Sleepy Vacation Season

Europeans aren't the only ones who love a good long vacation in August. Ecuadorians are also big fans of taking a few weeks off in the month of August. School is out of session, so most families are itching for the chance to get away, and the business culture seems to support the idea of taking off for an annual big vacation.

Where do Ecuadorians go on vacation? It depends. Many who have family in the States and the ability to get a US visa (this is getting increasingly difficult) head for the States. The big "family visit" destinations are to the Ecuadorian communities in New York, Chicago, and Miami. However, I feel a bit sorry for my students heading toward the States - Cuenca's summer months have been unseasonably cold and wet, with July being absolutely miserable. Moving from 40 degrees and rainy to 100+ degrees in a muggy urban environment? Yuck, even if the shopping is better.

Other popular vacation destinations are the beaches. Manabi, Montanita, and Salinas all get a certain amount of vacationers in August, but Caribbean, Columbian, and Peruvian beaches are considered to be more of a getaway. I don't know what the travel advertisers in Punta Cana did to secure the loyalty of the Ecuadorian public, but hitting resorts in this Dominican Republic beach zone is considered to be a top vacation choice.

Europe and Asia don't seem to be on the travel radar except for those at the very top end of the financial scale. Tickets are just flat-out expensive to get from here to there, making destinations closer to home more popular. Ecuadorians seem to be pretty big fans of domestic travel, showing a lot of love for their own jungle and volcano attractions.

Still, with a significant proportion of the population on vacation, Cuenca is a sleepy little town. When people here are on vacation, they don't answer their phone or check their email. Employees report that their bosses are on vacation as though that's a perfectly acceptable explanation for why you can't have what you need until the 1st of September - and here, that's just the way it goes.

This travel bug is a bit contagious. A large number of my friends here are taking trips back to the states throughout August and early September, channeling the Ecuadorian way. It's all about shopping, visiting family, and spending one or two days on a beach. In the meantime, Ecuador's main streets seem a bit depopulated and extra quiet as everyone settles in to enjoy the sleepy vacation season.

Ecuador's President Renamed A Series Of Unprintable Words On Wikipedia

Ecuador's President hasn't been making many friends within the media community lately, to the point that Anonymous currently has the country under attack. One of the crowning jewels showed up this morning on Wikipedia.

I can't print it. I won't even put up a picture. Just read the new name for Rafeal Correa on Wikipedia. If your version has no obscenities used as middle and last names under "Spanish naming conventions", then it's been caught. If not, well, this is a gem that insults both Correa and his mother.

I'm sharing because in the midst off all the political trash talking going on about the situation in the US, it really doesn't compare to what happens on the political scene. Also, can you imagine if this happened in the States?

Don't Mess With My Showers

The government of Ecuador is attempting to interfere with my ability to have a hot shower in the morning. This will not end well.

Basically, President Correa has mandated that production and importation of gas hot water heaters be stopped. This is how the majority of the homes in the country get their hot water. He hasn't proposed a replacement system, he's just said that the subsidized gas that the government provides is only supposed to be used for cooking, and that the hot water heaters are a health hazard anyway.

Sample Gas Heaters

Thanks, olx quito

I'll grant him a bit of that second point. Poorly installed gas hot water heaters - especially those foolishly installed inside homes - emit copious amounts of carbon monoxide. The heaters need to be properly ventilated, and ideally should be outside on a terrace, balcony, or outside wall. They can kill you when you do things like install them in your bedroom closet (no, really. That happened.)

However, we're not merely addressing the issue of poor technical skills that plagues the nation. We're talking about the President of the country essentially declaring that hot water is an optional luxury for most of the population. Solar water heaters exist, but the units run over $1,000 before installation with no backup systems, and electric water heaters imported from the states are just as pricey. The average monthly wage in the country is $300. A gas water heater is about $250, and powering it for an hour a day's worth of hot water is about $2.

I've ranted before about the dangers and misery of electric showerheads, so I've no interest in going back to that system. I'm glad my house has a gas hot water system already installed, and that the building runs on a centralized gas system with no way to separate my gas for cooking from my gas for showering. I'm probably going to be okay, unless "they" come to my house and try to rip my water heater off my wall. They should be prepared for some serious protesting.

And I won't be the only one protesting ... although not all of the protesters are motivated in the same way. One of the things thought to be behind the ban is the rising price to the government of continuing to subsidize propane and natural gas prices. The wholesale price for a home canister is about $1.60, with home delivered gas canisters at $2. The going market price should be around $8 per canister (works out to $0.32 kg/gas). Many locals would be hard pressed to afford a price jump of that size.

I know it seems like pocket change, but pocket change is serious money here. The government is a little bit stuck on this one. The "Land of the Cold Shower" is not exactly a reputation their tourist industry can afford to be stuck with, but the bill for the subsidies is not exactly one the government can afford to be stuck with over time. So we'll see how this goes ... you'll know if the hot water goes away, because I'll be sending through a new address!

Another Noisy Day In Cuenca

Of all the cities I have lived in over the years - including Shanghai - Cuenca is by far the loudest. It seems like there is always something in this city going on to assault your eardrums.

I don't know how to describe it in a way that you can imagine, but here's a start. Imagine a world in which almost everyone who owns a car has a car alarm for it. Imagine that alarm is a multi-part siren capable of running a 60 second loop. Imagine that the sound of this alarm is not unlike a rhythmic air raid siren, and that for a 100 yard radius it will feel like you are standing next to the Keith County Courthouse when they are testing the tornado sirens.

Imagine that in this world, NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO TURN OFF THEIR OWN ALARM.

That's right people - whoever sold the population of Cuenca their car alarms neglected to instruct them in basic courtesy features, like the ability to turn off the alarm on the car while you are sitting in it. Or how to lock the car without setting off the alarm. That the children of Cuenca have not been permanently deafened by the echoing wails of their parents' alarm systems going off every time a door is opened while the engine is running is beyond me.

Today a guy parked across the street from my apartment block, and went into the restaurant there to pick something up. He left the alarm going full blast and the door hanging open. Two floors of us leaned out the window to yell at him, it's gotten that frustrating. I think we shook him up a little.

Horns honking, mufflers rattling windows, people playing their music too loud ... I can be on the phone in my bedroom and my parents will ask where I'm at that it's so loud. I know it's partly the season - Carneval is coming, all the schools are on break - but seriously, my nerves are fraying. I had a dream last night that a massive earthquake reduced the city to rumble, and I remember being happy because it was quiet at last.

A car alarm woke me up.

Helicopters Over The Homefront

My taxi couldn't get me all the way home today, thanks to the police.

Pulling up to my intersection, the taxi driver helpfully pointed out the helicopter circling low overhead, cameras focused. Cop cars filled the streets, and uniformed patrolmen were milling about filling out forms, doing interviews, and up the block, loading something into a truck.

I paid my fare somewhat nervously and hustled it up the block, where I could see the entire staff of the copy shop that's on the first floor of my building huddled on the corner. Those girls are sharp about watching what's up, so after some hey, how are you's we cut right to the chase: Why is there a helicopter and half the Cuenca police force here?

They didn't know. We stood collectively for a minute weighing our options, and then a pair ran across the street toward the action in a swift move of bravery. Not about to get shown up by chicas half my weight, I followed.

More cops, lots of rubberneckers. This something a little different about Ecuador. In the States, we have rubberneckers, but we're a little more subtle about it. Little old ladies flick back their curtains or motorists drop it down about 5 mph. In Ecuador, people stop what they're doing and walk right up to the action. Motorists park and get out for a better view. There is no shame in staring, pointing, or openly gossiping about what's happening at a volume audible for 50 feet in every direction.

The cook from the restaurant across the street eventually gave me the scoop. Apparently all the action had to do with car part. Banned car parts, probably (I was missing a word in there) and lots of car parts for which this particular shop owner ***gasp*** had no receipts.

Y'all, I didn't even know there was an auto shop in this particular building, and I walk by there an average of four times a day. The catch is that what faces the street is just a wall with a big door and not really much of a sign. I've never really seen much for in and out on any of the shops on that block, even, so I thought the interior was empty.

Or pack floor to ceiling with hot car parts. You know, whatever fits in a building that looks like it was rescued from Spain circa 1750. Apparently the locals knew there was some kind of car place in there, but not that there were ***gasp*** no receipts!!!! for any of those parts.

The receipts are a big deal here, because the local SRI (our IRS) doesn't mess around. They will shut your business down until you are straight with them, and they'd sent their SWAT team folks down with the cops. It was kind of fun to watch them do their thing, actually, because they seemed a lot more active than any IRS folks I've ever seen (okay, imagined. I've never seen one and don't want to).

I went back in the house when the second wave came in along with the press because it was lunchtime. It was also much more comfortable for me to watch the whole thing from my windows. I may be getting more Ecuadorian every day, but I'm still not a dyed-in-the-wool rubbernecker. Maybe next year ....

What Volcano?

Lately I've gotten a bunch of pings about the volcano that's erupting. Truthfully, it hadn't even crossed my radar - which should let you know that no, I'm not affected and really, neither is Cuenca. If it was a big deal, I'd have heard.

On the other hand, what's the deal with Ecuador and volcanoes anyway? Here's the insider's scoop:

Ecuador is a mountainous country (thanks to the Andes) and we've still got active volcanoes doing their thing. They are clustered around the capital, Quito (10 - 12 hours overland from me), but there are a few eruptions further south. The locals don't always like it - ash clouds are bad for the tourist business.

The volcano erupting now is Tungurahua, whose name means "Throat of Fire" in Quichua, the indigenous language of Ecuador. It's 150 miles north of Cuenca, so we haven't noticed a thing about it. It's actually the third time this year that Tungurahua has erupted . . . so I guess people are kind of used to it? Do you get used to that kind of thing?

It's not really much of a lava spewer, but it does a lot of fancy things with ash. In 1999, when the volcano "woke up" after being asleep for decades, it did more. Now it just looks like this:

It will really only affect Cuenca if the ash cloud gets blown toward us, which might cause some flight path changes and probably make the satellite Internet system struggle. Other than that. . . not much. Enjoy the photos and don't worry, I'm fine!

Preparing For Christmas In Ecuador

As I'm typing this at Cafecito, the wait staff are putting up the Christmas decorations. Support pillars are already wrapped in tinsel, and the man cursing out the tangled strings of lights makes me feel right at home.

The Christmas star in the mango tree? Not so much.

This holiday season is creeping up on me in the oddest way. I spent my Thanksgiving with my sister at the spa at Piedra de Agua, doing full body mud masks and picking up a sunburn by the thermal pool. It's currently about 76 degrees, and I'm regretting wearing a long sleeve shirt to teach today. Even though I know Christmas is coming, it's hard to wrap my mind around it.

Still, I will be having Christmas in the traditional style, despite having missed Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all the snow and crowds that went with both. I've got a ticket back to Nebraska for Christmas in the snow. I can't seem to wrap my mind around that level of cold, either, so I'm just focusing on how nice it will be to be home for the holidays!

Baby Snatching? Seriously?

So I'm out to dinner last night, talking with the lovely JO and updating her about the University professorship situation. I'd gone in to the class on Wednesday to observe, to start preparing to teach October 25th. This is when the current professor is officially scheduled to start her maternity leave.

Anyway, after the class the professor and I are talking. We arrange to drive into town to have lunch, and she has to pull a giant kiddie pool out of the front seat of her pick-up truck so that I can sit. Not being entirely sure why an 8 & 9/10th's months pregnant lady is messing around with a kiddie pool, I ask her about it. Apparently it's for the delivery . . . she has a mid-wife and is doing the whole thing at home in the water birth style.

Now I know home birth is becoming more popular, even in the states, but this throws me for a loop. I was telling JO about it, because why not? It's interesting and different.

She comes back with an even more interesting and different take. Apparently, having babies at home is common in Ecuador because THEN NO ONE STEALS THE BABY AT THE HOSPITAL.

Yeah, exactly. Hospital baby snatchings are common? She shrugs, which can mean anything from "oh yes, totally" to "honestly, it is so easy to pull your leg." I ask her why, and she says that some people who can't have babies buy babies, and thus there is a market for babies, and people just want to serve that market.

For a minute I have a flashback to China, where I knew of a woman who went to the south of the country, headed out to the sticks, and picked up a lovely baby girl for $250. She was frustrated, as a single woman, with the hurdles in the adoption process. The twist? PEOPLE TOLD HER SHE OVERPAID.

I didn't have it in me to ask what a baby would run here. The last thing I need is to discover how affordable it is to buy a baby down here and then turn up back home with a matched set of big-eyed insta-grandkids. I can hear myself now:

"Mom, Dad, I was only going to get one but then I found out they were on SALE."

Reactions In Cuenca To Ecuador's Police Strike

This morning, I taught my regular Saturday morning class at the Abraham Lincoln school (quick recap - to be a professor, I have to also be a private school teacher. Follow that logic? Me neither. Welcome to Ecuador). I was looking forward to it today because it was a chance to do a good survey of local reactions to this week's police strike in Ecuador.

The teachers at the school are a mix of Cuenca locals and foreigners. My students come from middle and upper class families, and they're the equivalent of sophomores in high school. My class is all girls and very sweet. They can giggle in two languages.

Anyway, our lesson today was on gangsters and heroes (I just follow the book, people) and we had to make sentences expressing who is a hero and why. Soldiers are heroes, because they save Ecuador from the police. This earned a number of solemn nods from around the class. Soldiers are also cuter than the police, which earned laughs.

The girls then confessed to having spent the day of the police strike in Ecuador mostly glued to the television with their families. Those who have relatives in Quito or Guayaquil checked in throughout the day by email and cell phone to keep tabs on the public unrest in Ecuador. Many of my Cuencana students do have family on the coast, and so checking in - especially after the roads closed - was important. All the public schools in the country were closed Friday, which the students dismissed as "boring" since exams are coming up and they had to study anyway.

Among the local teachers in Cuenca, the mood was cautious relief. Several confessed to having been truly frightened. "I'm not easily scared," said one, "but that really shook me up." Correa, after all, is supposed to be different, and not susceptible to the coup d'etats that took out a number of his predecessors.

One of the long-time foreign teachers expressed ambivalence about the whole situation. "This is my fourth coup," he said, shrugging. I didn't ask if it was his fourth coup in Ecuador, but dang. Can you imagine?

In terms of the mood on the street, there are a number of stores that should be open that are still closed today (Saturday) but no real sense of emergency. People seem to be a little shaken that it happened, but mostly relieved that it's over. Speculation about the political outcomes is rampant among expats, but the locals just shrug and say, "Who knows what will happen?"

I'm with the locals. It's Ecuador. Who knows what will happen?

Police Strike In Ecuador Leads To Quiet Night

It's mid-evening in Cuenca, and it seems like it is going to be a quiet night. The news media may prove me wrong in the morning, but this photo I just took of Cuenca's streets on the first night of the police strike pretty much sums up the state of affairs around here:

I'm off until tomorrow unless something major happens. Given the crowds on the street, I think I will be sleeping peacefully tonight.

Photos From The Police Strike In Ecuador

Here's something you don't see everyday. The police threw tear gas - at the President of Ecuador. He was trying to give a speech, and now he's hanging out in the hospital, protected by guards.

Good quality Ecuador police strike photos here: http://www.ultimasnoticias.com.ve/LaPropiaFoto/Detalle.aspx?idTema=131

Note that Correa - the president - has a cane because he recently had knee surgery. Also, he doesn't hide behind his FBI-type people - instead, he told the police "You want to kill me? I'm here!" Don't exactly get that in the US!

From High School to College In Just 6 Days

Last week, I found myself waking up at 6 am for the first time in years. I wasn't on my way to catch a flight, either, which is generally the only acceptable reason for my lazy writer's butt to be up that early.

I was going to school.

By 7:30 I was dressed, armed with a backpack full of study supplies, and waiting for the bus. My fellow sufferer, SF, met up with me to ensure our 25 cents was duly plunked down into the slot for Bus #4. We managed to find a seat and bumped our way over the sleepy cobblestone streets until we reached our destination at the end of the line - Colegio Santa Ana.

It's worth noting here that a Colegio is not a college. It's a high school. Colleges are Universidades, and Colegios are high schools. I've studied Spanish for years and still think this is weird.

Anyway, Colegio Santa Ana perches on the side of a large hill overlooking the main city of Cuenca. Real estate developers in the States would kill for the vista off the playground alone.

Me? I would kill for some breakfast. It's a thought that occurs to me more than once as the morning drags on. The regular teachers are all in attendance for the final days of intensive curriculum planning before school starts. I'm attending as an observer, preparing to serve as a substitute for SF's first week of classes while he attends a wedding in the States.

I'm just there to see the place and find my classroom, right? Except instead I am getting a bird's eye view of the inner working of the curriculum administration system at a Cuenca Colegio. It's interesting, as they are re-doing the guides for each grade level, but there is a lot of discussion in circles and I'm praying that this all gets sorted by the time I start subbing on Monday.

Flash forward. Friday night I get a note from SF, who's now in the States, that his school is trying to get a hold of me, that they've got some kind of emergency. By Sunday morning, it's sorted out - the emergency situation was that I've been canned in favor of someone who was able to attend all of the curriculum planning sessions.

Sadness, right? Well, not really. I'm actually relieved to not have to make the long bus ride on Monday morning, especially since I would have just lusted after the panoramic view anyway.

48 hours later, I'm sitting in a windowless room taking notes. Welcome back to University, kiddo!

As I was celebrating my new-found freedom from subbing on Sunday, I got a note about a Profesora looking for someone to cover her maternity leave. The position starts in October, but the catch is being at the first day of class to figure out what's going on and if this is going to work. So I end up perched in the back row, utterly alone as not one of the other students in the class will sit with me. I later find out this isn't social shunning of the gringa - their previous professor penalized them for not sitting up front!

Anyway, the course is called International Relations. Asking if I'm interested in the subject is like checking to see if bears really sleep in the woods.

There's more to the story, naturally, because this is Ecuador and things are never perfectly simple. The way things happen here are twisty and turny and full of the unexpected. One minute you're a sacked sub, and the next minute you're on the road to being a college professor. Asi es Ecuador!

What Do You Do With One Aspirin?

So I went to the pharmacy for my friend Pete yesterday, because I was going to town anyway, his head hurt, and there were no painkillers in the house. I explained to the nice man behind the counter that my friend's head hurt and could he please sell me something like aspirin?

He did. One. That would be a single pill in a blister pack, 34 cents, thank you.

What do you do with one aspirin? I mean, yes, take it, but really, people buy these one at a time here?

Apparently so - you should have seen the look he gave me when I said, "You know, I really meant a box when I said I wanted aspirin."

Eyebrows up, mouth open. "A box?"

"Yes, please," I said.

That came to $8.50. Hmmm . . . too much since all I had was a ten and wanted snacks.

So we settled on half a box, because apparently you can do that, too. Do people not keep this kind of thing in their homes by the bottle here? Weird, weird, weird.

The Great Stove Thief Of Cuenca

Apartments in Cuenca are a process to obtain, that is for darn sure. Along the way you discover all kinds of horrifying aspects of apartment life in other countries, like the electric showers. Occasionally, you discover the opportunity to have a really good laugh.

As with the stove thief.

For background, most apartments in Cuenca are completely unfurnished. And by unfurnished, I mean stripped down to the basics. There aren't bulbs in the light fixtures, appliances in the kitchen, or even mirrors in the bathroom. When you read that an apartment is unfurnished, they aren't kidding

As a foreigner here, I don't come with my own house full of furniture, so I have been looking at furnished apartments, or at the very least partially furnished places that have their kitchen appliances. One of the apartments on my list was this one from Bienes Raices Catedral, Cuenca's largest (for now) real estate agency.

Note the presence of kitchen appliances here.

A few additional notes about Bienes Raices Catedral for your reference. They say on their website that they speak English. This is true over email depending which agent you are talking to at the time, but when you get to the office, you'd better be able to habla Espanol. Though they have a large office, when Pete and I showed up for our appointment there, nobody was speaking any English, which is okay for me, but not so fun for my friend Pete, who is looking for his own place with a dog. Anyway, this is a problem with a lot of real estate places in Cuenca - you have to double check that they really are bilingual! Some can't speak any Spanish, while others can't hack it in English.

Also, the super organized and polished front that they started with quickly went downhill when we started looking at places. The first place they tried to show me was right next door, but it had already been rented and no one had bothered to tell them. Then we drove over to the condo you see in the photo above.

We walk into the place, and it is indeed a good price in a nice building near a park and a main street in the district that I want. However, when we turn to the kitchen, there's a problem.

It's completely stripped.

I mention this to the agent, and he gives me the little speech about how appliances aren't included in unfurnished rentals in Cuenca. Yeah, yeah - I know this from the nice folks over at Cuenca Condos and Cuenca's Best Properties, who've given me quite an education in the local market. But in the listing it specifically says this place is supposed to come with a refrigerator and a stove.

So we get into a little argument about it, since I want a lower monthly rent if there aren't going to be appliances. The agent tells me I'm being unreasonable and reminds me again that this is normal for Cuenca. Yes, but the listing says it comes with appliances, and because I know I'm right and the agent has a Blackberry, I invite him to look it up if he doesn't believe me.

He looks it up, muttering the whole time about how I just don't know the market and really, he's not trying to rip me off and it's a great price and so on. I don't care, I don't want to buy $1500 worth of appliances for a place that's supposed to be furnished. Look it up.

Lo an behold, the foreign lady can actually read Spanish correctly. The apartment description specifically mentions that the appliances are included, listing them by name.

Well, this freaks the agent, because 1) I'm right (Take that, doubter man) and 2) the stuff's not there. He call his office and asks them about it. They verify that the owner listed the appliances as being there, and what does he mean they aren't there now? Where did the appliances go?

We still don't know.

Needless to say, I didn't take the apartment. We left it blaming the Great Stove Thief Of Cuenca. He's a fast one, sneaky and smart, and somewhere he's got a refrigerator and stove, much to my own intense personal amusement and the chagrin of my real estate agent.

Cuenca's Hot Water Disappointment

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a thing for showers. I LOVE THEM. Long, hot showers are somewhat critical to taking me out of zombie state and into a functional state in the morning. They're relaxing. They're good for thinking. Opera is more fun in the shower. And, as an aside, showers keep me clean.

Cold showers, on the other hand, are the worst things in the world. Nothing makes me more likely to use my worst grown up words, get all grumpy, and start hating on the universe than a cold shower. Woe betide anyone who gives me any excuse at all to be angry with them after I've had a cold shower, because it's going to feel like World War III just broke out.

My Personality After A Cold Shower

So, to the plumbers and electricians and architects of Cuenca, if you as a group don't start engineering better showers in this town, I'm going to hit you with something. Repeatedly.

At the moment, it seems as though every place I've ever taken a shower here {3 apartments + 2 guest showers} and everyone I've talked to has agreed that for the most part, there are three water temperatures available in Cuenca:

• Arctic
• Tepid
• Scalding

Most water heater systems are gas powered, making the problem one of both heat source and pressure. On one hand, in theory, the hot water should never run out since it is continually heated as it is piped in. In practice, you have to get the water pressure just right to maximize the heating power of the gas flame. Too much and its arctic. Too little and its scalding. In the middle and . . . oh, let's face it. I spend 10 minutes a morning standing out of the spray, fiddling with the water, trying to get it to somewhere in the middle and scowling the entire time.

As a means of getting around the acknowledged problem with the gas heated showers, some systems use electric shower heads. Yes, all my North American readers, you read that right. Electric shower heads.

Scary Electric Shower Example #1

Scary Electric Shower Example #2



Thumbs Down Added By Actual User

Install these puppies the wrong way, and you'll get a shower experience you'll never forget. I had one in my second apartment, and let me tell you, fearing for my life cut into my shower time considerably. I also wore rubber flip flops to shower in religiously, just in case.

These death traps appear throughout Latin and South America. According to the Southern Baptist Missionary I talked to Tuesday, in Guatemala they are known as "Widowmakers" which seems about right. I'll never have one again.

The worst part of them, of course, is they still don't give consistently hot water, either. And yet there they are . . . in use . . . creating a whole legion of people with stories about "that time the shower caught on fire" or "the time I fried myself." Good times, people, good times.

It is a good way to distinguish yourself as an in-the-know type when looking for apartments here, though. Green out of towners ask about square footage and bedrooms. Second time around types and seasoned locals? We're asking about the hot water!

O Visa, Where Art Thou?

My visa officially expired yesterday. My lawyer assures me there is no problem with this, because the visa was done last week, it just wasn't signed. The guy who has to sign the visa was on vacation, no big deal, he'll do it when he gets back.

Call it a case of "You know you're not in America anymore when . . . " but seriously, only one guy in the immigration office in Quito, the capital of Ecuador, has the power to sign a visa? No one can fill in for him while he is on vacation? This is for real?

Yes, welcome to Ecuador. This is bureaucracy here. For real. This is why you need at least a month before your visa expires to renew a visa. Even if the process is only supposed to take 3 - 4 days.

Allegedly, the visa is now signed and I will get my passport WITH VISA back in my hot little hands on Thursday. Right. Do pardon me if I wonder where on earth this process is really!

Houston, We *May* Have A Visa

Talked with my lawyer today about my visa and it seems that the process may have gone through! Supposedly her assistant is picking it up today, which would give me another 60 days before I have to start working on a more permanent visa.

The extra time will be wonderful. A major adjustment for me coming back down here has been remembering to work on Ecuador time again. Things don't happen in anything near the speed which they are originally described, and this is endemic throughout every aspect of work in the country. Houses are finished months late, even by big-name developers. Contractors don't show. Service helpers are frequently hours late. Whatever time you're given, doubling or even tripling it is a safe bet for realistic planning.

On one hand it's great, because it makes life easy. There's no real deadline pressure for many things. On the other hand, it drives me absolutely bonkers, like a three day visa taking almost two weeks. But what can I do? This is the country I've chosen, and I'll be getting the darn thing at last! I am very excited for the moment when I have my passport back in hand - it will be a big relief.

Dear Bureaucracy, I Hate You

Well, it's a beautiful Friday in Ecuador. The weather has been lovely today, and the sun setting behind the mountains out my window is mixing with the clouds to create a gentle striping of pink and lavender.

Really, there's only one thing that can ruin an evening like this.

Bureaucracy.

More specifically, the bureaucracy that is holding up my visa extension getting approved. I was supposed to get my completed paperwork and visa back on Wednesday. No word from the lawyer all day. I send an email on Thursday checking in politely - I mean, I don't want to be a nasty nag, right? I just want my ever-loving visa and my passport back in my hot little hands.

Instead, she doesn't call me. She calls my friend who went with me to her office to tell him that I need to provide her with bank statements showing a different amount in my account. Well, that's all well and good, except it's after the close of business in the US by the time I get wind of all of this and what am I supposed to do about it now?

I would probably be less incensed about this (Asi es Ecuador, as they say) had I not already spent a fair portion of my week dealing with the malfunctioning of my portable Internet connection. Apparently the internal workings of the poor thing have up and died, but finding that out definitively involved a trip to the main Porta customer service office on Gran Columbia which is dreadful. Not only did they give me wrong and incomplete information, but the process for repairs was going to day several days for me to get the thing back.

Instead, I ended up going to the sweet little shop where Porta outsources all their repairs rather than having any in-house technicians (because why would a large cell phone service provider want techs? I mean really!). They had a next day answer for me on the confirmed death of the modem. Tears for my Internet, people. Not looking forward to having to replace that!

So all unsettled and fussy, which is not ideal. However, I am blessed in a number of ways, so heading into the weekend I am trying to focus on:

• My wonderful Ecuadorian friends who are hooking me up with Internet as well as a place to stay (because really, until I have that visa approved and know I can stay, I don't want to lease a place)
• The sweethearts who have been suggesting places for me to teach so I can have a more permanent visa and skip all this bureaucracy crap for the next year
• My father, who is awesome and handles it really well when I call all upset from foreign countries with ever-changing visa rules
• The chicken lime soup from California Kitchen waiting for me
• Watching Slokum do the rugby thing tomorrow
• The just-for-fun web projects planned for Sunday
• The reality that all of this will be solved one way or another!

I know I've got to get some new pictures up from things happening here and do updates on everything that's changed in Cuenca . . . but until then, I think this week is about over for me!